


The Talk

by Rexxy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Caught in the Act, M/M, Well the gay sex talk, the sex talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 23:02:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6397531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rexxy/pseuds/Rexxy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After James caught Remus and Sirius, they have to talk about it. (This is a follow up to Invisible, but can be read stand-alone)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Talk

The dormitory seemed unusually quiet, considering all four of the marauders were currently inside. Peter was getting ready for a date he had, while Sirius and James were sat on their respective beds reading, an unusual sight in itself. Remus, however, was laid on the floor with many books sprawled around him while he was actually studying for an upcoming test they had. The awkward silence, of course, would be because James had found out about Remus and Sirius’ relationship through unfortunate circumstances, during which he basically caught them having sex and couldn’t escape, and they had yet, after 3 days, to talk about it. That was because Peter did not know yet either and they wanted to tell them separately, so they just had to wait for the ample opportunity. When Peter asked them why they were being so quiet, they just shrugged and said they were tired. Eventually Peter had had enough of laying in a silent dorm at night and just went out on a date to pass the time more excitingly. As soon as he left, though, the other three came back to life.

“We need to talk about this.” James and Sirius said in unison, James looking at Sirius and Sirius looking at Remus. Remus was just looking at the floor and trying to ignore the elephant in the room, but knew it wouldn’t work, so just sighed and sat on Sirius’ bed next to him, but not touching.

“Prongs, I know that it’s hard to take in,” Remus said seriously, while his boyfriend laughed. “What? Why is that funny?”

“I know something that’s hard to take in.” Remus sighed and tried to ignore the sniggering that came from both James and Sirius at that. 

“Right, okay. I’m done. There was literally no point in even trying to do this with you two.” Remus said as he tried to get up, but was yanked back down by Sirius pulling on his arm and holding his hand once he was sat to keep him in place.

Sirius looked at Remus with a determined glint that said ‘we can do this’ and spoke to James in the most serous tone he could muster. “You see Prongs, when a Mummy Moony and Papa Padfoot love each other very much- ouch!” He was cut off by Remus slapping him in the back of the head. 

“I’m not the one who takes it up the arse 9 times out of 10, you’re the mother!”

“Excuse me, but you love it when I ravage you and your plump little-“

“Well, that’s not the point. You’re the more feminine one.”

“No, the point is Moony neither of us are the mother, because we’re both guys. We’d both be big gay dads.” Remus laughed and kissed him on the cheek, nodding his agreement. “But, I mean theoretically though if we had to choose,” Remus should have known it wasn’t over, “you’re the more maternal of us. And, Mummy Moony just fits. I think it sounds cute. You’re definitely a MILF in my book.”

“Oh, well that makes it okay then.” Remus said sarcastically. 

Sirius just laughed and pecked Remus on the cheek again. He then turned to James, who was sat watching the exchange and smiling. “What are you so giddy about?” He then let go of Moony and faced James, trying to keep a straight face as he made eye contact with him. “You know James, it’s perfectly normal to have urges-“

“Oh, no Padfoot you are not doing ‘the talk’ with me. I had that with my parents last year when they found a picture of Lily I my room. That was enough awkward embarrassment for one lifetime thanks.”

“But Prongs, did they give you the gay sex talk?”

“If that means you’re going to sit and tell me about your sex life I’ll pass.” 

Sirius put on an expression of mock hurt and flung himself into Remus’ arms. “Oh, Moony he’s pushing me away. All I want to do is tell him to make sure that you use plenty of lube, located in various places around the dorm, I’ve got a map, don’t worry Prongs, and how important prep is.” He then lifted himself off of Remus who was looking at him with a look of exasperation, and stood up in front of James. He lowered his voice when he said his next part. “This one time, me and Moony were in the prefects bathroom, completely naked, and there was only ten minutes until next lesson so we never bothered-“

“Okay that’s quite enough.” Remus stood up behind Sirius and put a hand over his mouth. James caught the occasional phrase from him though as he continued on. Snippets, such as “hurt like a bitch,” and “couldn’t walk right for days” drifted through Remus’ hand until Sirius licked Remus’ hand so he could be free. 

“So, anyway long story short, if you just shove it up there, even with lube, you’ll regret it in the morning. And the day after. And the day after that too. I swear there’s still a twinge when he puts it in-“

“Padfoot. James, didn’t come here to talk about our sex life or get advise. He came to talk about us. As in me and you, our relationship.”

Sirius hadn’t let that thought cross his mind if he was being honest, but when it was brought to his attention, it kind of made sense. Why would James come to them for details and advise about gay sex when he was so clearly straight and in love with Lily Evans?

“Moony, you are my knight in shining armour.” James said from his bed, where he was just looking at Sirius with a bit of a horrified stare.

“Anything for you, princess.” Remus said with a wink to James, to which James responded by blowing a kiss back to Remus.

“Thanks. Now, Padfoot. The reason I wanted to talk to you both is because I wanted to say that I’m okay with your relationship, and I’m a little hurt that you haven’t told me sooner, but what is done is done and I forgive you for that. I’m just glad that you’re both happy and I promise I won’t tell anybody if you don’t want me to. Honestly, I just want you both to know that you can trust me with anything. I love you guys.”

Sirius was almost in tears from James’ small speech but refused to let any unmanly tears come from his eyes, so just hugged James instead, hiding his face when the tears fell. “Thanks, Jamie. It means a lot, you know? Considering you’re my only real family, I just didn’t want you to think I’d ruin our friendship.”

“Sirius you could never do that. I’d love you no matter what. But, if you hurt Remus I will kill you.” Sirius pulled back from the hug and nodded, sniffing. 

Remus, during the exchange had chosen to just look around the room awkwardly, trying not to cry too. Because when Sirius cried, he cried, and when he cried everyone cried and he could not handle all that emotion right now, but then James had said “come here,” and Remus took Sirius’ place in the hug with James and did the same thing, but shook with tears of relief that James was so understanding, and when James heard Remus, he teared up as well, which set Sirius off, and then they were all crying. 

And that’s what Peter walked into. He walked over them and asked if someone died, only to be pulled into the hug by Sirius and was forced to endure the hug for a good five minutes, before James pulled away and they all followed suit. “So what’s this all about then?” Peter asked.

“I’ll tell you what it’s about. It is about the unbreakable bonds of friendship that have been forged through many years of-“ James stopped his very passionate speech when Sirius pushed Remus back onto his bad and passionately kissed him in front of James and Peter like they weren’t there, groaning into Remus’ mouth and pulling his hair. James just sighed and said, “that’s what its all about.”

“Oh. Okay then, good night.” Peter said as he walked back to his own bed. “And Remus, please put up a silencing charm this time, I think I might need psychological evaluations if I wake up at three in the morning again to you screaming for it harder.” 

At this the room went quiet, no one except Peter knowing that Peter knew, which was swiftly followed by all four of them cracking up and laughing before saying goodnight to each other and going to bed, Remus remembering to pull the curtains and put up a silencing charm for the night…

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, please feel free to tell me if I made any mistakes :)


End file.
